Expert: ***ERICA*** - 4/22/2008

Question
I met my ex 3 years ago. She was 16 and I was 18.She really loved me and looked up 2 me. I cant put in to words how much she lusted for me and loved me. She is a very attractive girl and their were times when i couldnt beleive how much she wanted me. I never thought I would meet someone like her in my life. We were together for 10 months befor I broke up with her for no reasion. I told myself that she was suffocating me and I needed some space. This was the worst mistake I wish I never did. I was so immature and irresponsible. I diddnt start feeling like that untill 8 months down the road. I didnt play mind games with her when i left i cut off all contact. When I finally grew up and came to my sences I took her back and feel deeply in love. We had so much fun when we got back together going to watch he dance on the dace team, trip 2 Florida, my our families even let us spend the nights togeher at my moms house. We bascly lived together. She was 17&18 And I was 19&20 during this time. During the summer 07 we had a great relationshtip no fighting and lots of fun we were so in love. The summer was coming 2 an end and she got this job at T-mobil boath in the middle of the mall. Our relationship has been going down  hill since. She has been lieing to me, giving out her phone number 2 guys, keeping me away from her cell, and stuff like that. Because of this we were fighting all the time. I really love this gurl so i tryed to ignore all of these warrning signs. Well this type of behavor carred on throught    Fall and Winter. Then in mid to late January she stoped spending the night with me regularly and when I would call her phone some times it would be off of she just wouldnt answer it. I got really mad cause she wouldnt answer her phone it was the first Monday of Febuary. She called me back later that night and told me she needed some space. Well for the next month all we ever did together was have sex and this it. Their was no dates or spendind nights or nothing. Everythink finally came to the light and the fact was that she was dating someone else. She said their was no one else and that she just wanted to go with her friends more. She still says she loves me and still in love with me ,but its obvious she wants to be with him. He is older than me and he co-signed for her a 2003 Jag. "Something she wanted me to do but i wouldnt because of her mysterious behavor." She left me for this man! We spent 3 years together. We grew up together and she just throwing it all away. I never though it would happen to me like this. She tryed to blame me for breaking up with her 2 years ago but i kno she is just trying 2 make her self not look like a monster. She was and still is very immature. Pair this with her good looks and out going personality and Im in a bad situation. In the back of my mind i wish she would come back to me one day like i came back to her but the difference is i didnt leave her for someone else. Is it wrong for me to hope she matures one day and comes back a better person and commited to me???????????????? I know Im supposed to move on but im still in shock.......

Answer
Hi Chris,
There really is no way for us to predict what she is going to do in the future.  If your paths are suppose to cross again they will.  However, for your own sanity - moving on or atleast starting to is a great idea.  Accepting that it is over (for now or for good) will make the healing process begin and allow you to start to move on.  Concentrate on your life and what you want for the future.  She has to learn things on her own and there is nothing you can do to speed up that process.  She knows how you feel.  We have no control over what someone else does, feels, or says.  We only have control over ourselves.  I know this is very hard for you to let go of, but right now she has her own agenda and wants to do her own thing.  Knowing that she is going to do her own thing - do you really want to waste precious time in your life by "hoping."  when it may never happen again?  Take some time for you and then get busy creating an amazing life for yourself.  She will figure her own stuff out herself in her own time.  Warmest Wishes, Erica