Expert: ***ERICA*** - 4/14/2008

Question
I WAS IN A 6 MONTH RELATIONSHIP IT WAS GREAT 99% OF THE TIME HE WAS LOVING AND RESPECTFUL MOST I EVER GOT OUT OF ANY MAN THEN LAST WEEK I CAME HOME AND HE WAS GONE AND MOST OF HIS THINGS HE CAME HOME THE NEXT DAY AND BEGAN PACKING HIS THINGS WHILE TELLING ME HE NEEDS SPACE BUT WANTS TO DATE AND START OVER HE HASNT MADE ANY CONTACT WITH ME BUT HIS MOTHER HAS SHE TELLS ME TO GIVE HIM TIME AND TALKS TO ME DAILY ITS LIKE SHES KEEPING ME ON THE SIDE LINES BUT HE ISNT MAKING ANY EFFORT IM CRUSHED AND SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS IS IT OVER AND HE DONT WANNA TELL ME?? OR DOES HE REALLY NEED SPACE IM SO CONFUSED AND HURT I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HE CAN JUST WALK AWAY AND NOT LOOK BACK WHEN i WOULD DO ANYTHING JUST TO HEAR HIS VOICE AGAIN SHOULD I MOVE ON AND TRY TO HEAL OR IS THERE HOPE??

Answer
Hi April,
For your own sanity I would look at this as over and start the healing process.  Obviously things weren't great for him for whatever reason.... maybe his own agenda... but, it really doesn't matter what it was - he left... he didn't stick around and try to talk to you about it - he just left... therefore, if a man does that to me that screams that he cares about himself and not me.... Therefore, he doesn't deserve me as a friend or anything else for that matter at this point in time.  I would not be in contact with him or his mother.... Don't let him know how "sad" you are.... The less he knows the quicker he must face the reality of his decision.  If and when he misses you and wants to make contact nothing will stop him.  If and when he does this you have to make a decision as to whether or not you even want this relationship again.  Relationships are tough enough to begin with and I want someone who is going to deal with things with me... not bail.... You need to start healing and feeling great about you... you have to recreate your life and decide what it is that you truly want.  If he comes back then you can decide how to handle it, but if he doesn't you have a huge head start on getting your life back on track.  I know its hard and it hurts like hell, but we have no other choice we can't control how they feel or what they do.  Warmest Wishes, Erica