Expert: ***ERICA*** - 5/2/2008

Question
hello  Erica
me and my firl were together for almost 4 years.  about a month ago she said "we need to talk " great words to hear right.  She said "i love me and your my best friend but i am moving out"  of course i went nuts thinking of that and couldnt talk to her for days without begging for her not to do this but it happened.  now if i even bring it up she says to stop cause im just pushing her away.  is that true or is that just an excuse for her not to have told me she was already gone in the first place.  i need to knoww so that i dont have this false sense of hope lingering and just move on..  the problem is not that i cant live without her it is that i dont want to. we were going to get marie dwhen she finished school is she freaking out cause its getting close.  what is your opinion and what do you think i should do
thanks for your time,
james

Answer
James,
I think she has been honest with you and I think you are too good to beg.  A golden rule that I have:  Anything you chase in life runs away.  Therefore, if it is too hard to be friends with her right now and not want more - why don't you try having no contact with her for atleast 60 days to see how the 2 of you really feel about each other.  To analyze what she is feeling and why she is doing this is pointless because it doesn't change the situation or make it any better.  The bottom line is that she doesn't want to be with you yet.  I would let her go and if it is meant to be:  it will be and if it isn't well you have a head start on beginning your own life again.  Warmest Wishes, Erica