Expert: Dana Q - 6/24/2008

Question
Hi Dana,
First off I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this.  I am a 23 year-old female, dating a 23 year old guy.  We've been dating for a few months now, but things got really intense, really fast.  I've always been a skeptic, and really didn't believe in love - but this all has happened really fast, and this relationship has been incredible so far.  I usually see my boyfriend a few nights a week - he's in school full-time, and I work full-time.  We get along so well, and are so compatible - I can't get over it.  But tonight we were talking, and he asks me if something's up.  I tell him no, and he tells me that he's getting this "weird vibe."  I told him I honestly didn't feel it, and didn't really know what he was talking about.  He tells me it's probably nothing - it's probably in his head.  So we continue talking, and somehow this "vibe" talk comes up again.  He tells me again, it's probably nothing - but he felt he should tell me when he's feeling it - because he believes in being honest...  I asked him if he's having doubts, and he says no, he's "really into me."
Ok, so I don't get it..?  Am I over-thinking this?  Over-reacting?  I feel this knot in my stomach, like I'm about to be dumped, and if that's the case, I'll be truly devastated.  Is there something I can do?  I've tried talking to him about it, and he insists it's nothing.  I don't wanna keep pushing this - I'm sure it'll only annoy him.
Is there anything I can do to lighten the blow of an upcoming break-up?  I'm so fearful this would just ruin me.
Thanks again, I look forward to a response.

Answer
Hi Sandy,

Thanks for writing to me.  I don't know if this is going to lead to a break-up, but something is off with him.  You should definitely take it as a potential red flag of possible emotional instability or general weirdness on his part.  Make a note of it in the back of your mind in case other issues creep up in the relationship, but don't stress too much over it right now.  It could just be that he's afraid of getting hurt, too.  However, if he does break up with you over an imaginary vibe, you can console yourself by the fact that you were spared wasting your time with a shallow, immature person.  You will survive a break-up if it happens, and you will meet someone else.  It will be difficult for a while, but eventually you will get over it.

Good Luck,

Dana Q