Expert: Dana Q - 6/23/2008

Question
I just turned 33 and he's 40 dating a yr. he did things that made me feel he was cheating (hiding the phone, late nate calls saying it was clients-which i ended up calling one of them to confirm & it was or they say it was!!) work more then usual, say he's busy and cant call or spend time on holidays and my birthday i waited all day like he asked cause he was working but i found receipts (and confronted him about where he was he said who ever told me that is lying and they should get there facts straight!) that he went to post office, lunch and to buy me flowers which werent delivered until next day cause i'm a single mom and had to drive an hour away to drop kids off at dads house so me and GUY can enjoy my bday together or at least i thought that and i had a cold from hell-no he didnt take care of me while i was sick!!!i'm not sure i even have a question.....i dont have no one to talk/vent to, no family near by or to ask to help with kids or house, no one to reassure me that i'm fine and this is for the best. maybe i'm just feeling sorry for myself.i'm a single divorced mom of 2 preschoolers and just cry all day even called my dr. for an antidepressant which doesn't seem to be working yet.i dont plan on dating anymore, i feel i'm better off alone so my kids feel and know what security and comfort are, rather then to have men in and out of my life. their dad is around but were are better off apart, its weird cause even he seems lonely.....

i'm not sure what to believe. we just broke up on friday and on saturday he already started dating. he never felt he had to apologize or make up for lost times/things to me. said i was childish, didnt trust or believe him and played games.

how do i move on?  

Answer
Hi Elle,

Thanks for writing to me.  Be glad you are rid of this loser.  He sounds completely selfish and shallow.  He probably was cheating on you, since he found someone else immediately after you broke up.  Regardless, it shows that he didn't love you as much as he claimed.  Give your anti-depressants time and try being on your own for a while, but don't give up on dating.  Not all men are jerks; it's just a shame that you found two who were.

Good Luck,

Dana Q