Expert: ***ERICA*** - 6/11/2008

Question
My girlfriend and I broke up over trust issues that have occurred in our  1 1/2 year living together relationship.  This is my first true love relationship and it breaks my heart that it's over.  My biggest struggle right now is being alone through this since my friends and family live somewhere else.  I'm not the most active person when it comes to social situations.  I am very depressed and I don't know how to fix the loneliness of this situation.  What can you suggest on getting my mind off this matter?


Answer
Hi David,
First off... make sure that you take care of the basics that are needed to be done on a daily basis... work, eating, sleeping, daily hygiene, etc.  After a breakup those basic activities are sometimes a struggle.  Then, I don't know if you belong to a gym or not, but that is a great stress relieving activity because you not only get to feel better but its a great way to meet new people.  If there is an activity that you thoroughly enjoy - try to find people or clubs that have open memberships.  Finally, anyone that you meet - explain to them that you are new to the area and are looking for new friends and things to do... the worst thing they could say is no and that rarely happens.. You have to try to get out of your comfort zone and make things work for you.  Very difficult, but very gratifying.  Ask some members of your family to come out and visit you for a long weekend.  Keep yourself busy.... The only thing that gets you out of this funk is you... and time... Somedays you are going to want to just not do anything and its real important that on those days you make sure that you force yourself to.  Good Luck... Warmest Wishes, Erica