Expert: ***ERICA*** - 7/20/2008

Question
Hi Erica,

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. I love him very much... more and more as each day goes by. I've put a lot of mature thought into it, and I believe that he is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
The problem lies with my priorities at the moment. I go to school seven months of the year on another continent. So basically, for that time, we don't see each other. I have another three years of schooling left. The long distance just this past year was VERY hard. He's not a phone kind of guy (i.e. we've never had one of those phone conversations that lasted hours). He's very business minded, and that shows when he talks on the phone --> straight to the point, and thats it! So you can tell, that while I was away, contact with one another (especially via phone) died down a lot. I consider myself to be more spiritual and emotional than him, so my love for him doesn't die when i'm away for months. But him, he seems like he needs a girlfriend who can be there for him, someone who he can see, touch, smell, ect. I can't be that because I need to focus on my career/schooling, so that I can become the self sufficient independent woman I've been striving to be for so many years.
He's been talking about a break up for quite some time now. He said that he wants to break up just before I go back in September. I've tried to reason with him. I know he loves me as much as I love him, but he 'can't' do the long distance thing.
My issue there is, I don't want to break up! Especially not before I go back to school and have grades to worry about. I know I cannot force him to stay with me, so would it be best if I just broke it off with him sometime within the next couple of weeks. That will at least give me some downtime to  mend my heart. I leave for school the last week of September. I don't know what to do. On the other hand, my parents are constantly on my case about marriage. They think we should get engaged, but he doesn't want that. And so again, I want that (actually, I can wait for engagement... I just want us to stay together, as bf and gf the way we are now. I am patient, there is no need for rush when it comes to marriage), but again I can't force it upon him. I've been talking to friends, they advise that I should just wait it out and see what happens, they don't think that he will break up with me. But my heart doesn't settle well with that advice. Am I just unecessarily over-thinking the matter?
The past few weeks, I've put a lot of thought into the 'future/outcome' of my bf and me. Sometimes I just feel like a live corpse, totally expressionless, lost in thought. I hate thinking about it, but its all I can think about. It makes me cry. I've had my fair share of relationships before, but I've never taken any single one of them as seriously as I do with this guy. My body starts to feel all light and full of anxiety when the thought of losing him crosses my mind. I don't know who you are, I don't know if what i'm diong is stupid, but I'm crying out to you for help...
I know I will heal from all this if we do break up, but it will take me a long time, and as I said before, I don't need it to affect my school grades.  
:(
please give me some sort of advice!

Answer
Hi Sona,
Most importantly you have to worry about you.... I know this sounds very cliche' but, if you are meant to be together you will be even if its a few years down the road.  I wouldn't make a drastic decision when you aren't sure what you want to do.  They say that when in doubt don't do anything.  That is a fabulous piece of advice because sometime we tend to make hasty emotional decisions.  Live your life the way that you need to.  Do what you need to do to take care of you and really .... I believe this whole heartedly that we can't control other people, their emotions, or their actions... we can only control ours... If the 2 of you are meant to be... you will be.... Warmest Wishes, Erica