Expert: ***ERICA*** - 7/14/2008

Question
Hello Erica,
I am really stuck on this question I am going to ask you. I have been thinking and thinking and I keep going back and forth. I am married to a great man. I do love him with all my heart but he is 36 and I am 23. There is a giant age difference and for a long time it was ok. We have been to gether since I was 18. It has only been recently that I have realized that I may not be able to continue our marriage. I feel like he exspects me to take care of his children, work a full time job, clean the house, and do all these other things that I would not have any problem doing if I were able to go out every once in a while with friends. I just feel trapped. I find myself lyeing to him and keeping things from him so he finds out and hopeing that he will leave me so I don't have to be the one who leaves. I know it is time I just don't know how to go about it. One other thing he has the worst temper I have ever seen and I am nervous that he will turn it on me. I don't really feel safe to be honest I feel like I have to tell him what he wants or things will get ugly. Please help.

Erin
INDIANA  

Answer
Hi Erin,
When you say that you don't feel safe... I don't know if you mean that he would get physical with you.  If your physical safety isn't in jeopardy than I would suggest that you sit down with him and tell him how unhappy you are.  Maybe he will surprise you and want to stay in the marriage and work on doing the things that will make you happy.  However, he may not.  But, I think that you would feel better making this tough decision if you have exhausted all of your options.  It is a huge age difference and you have the right to some "alone" time and time to do the things that you enjoy.  I hope this helps.  Warmest Wishes, Erica