Expert: ***ERICA*** - 7/29/2008

Question
My boyfriend of 2 and a half years recently broke up with me. He returned home from Iraq after a year and we moved in together. I knew things had changed a little but I just hoped things would resolve themselves. We had occasional fights, but nothing out of the ordinary for two people learning to live together. Anyways, after the break up, he tells me that he loves and cares about me, and still thinks im as amazing as i was when he met me, but he doesnt think we're the right match for each other. I asked him what if he was wrong, and he said, i dont know but i cant keep you in the middle, hurting you more, until i figure it out. I dont even know what I'm asking, but just some advice on this would be great. I'm trying to just give him his time and space and hopefully he'll begin to miss me and reevaluate our relationship, because he's told me he misses me, but i dont want to hold on to false hope so i just try to move on without him.

Answer
Dear Amy,
We don't know what the future holds, but I would move on with my life and if/when he does come back you will be in a better place with yourself.  It is normal to hold on to hope because we love someone so very much and when they don't feel the same way it shakes us to our core.  However, there is a great rule to follow:  no contact fo 60 days to allow both of you some time to yourselves to figure out what we want.  I know it hurts and the unknown is scary because we want to believe that we meant just as much to them as they did to us.  The only thing that lets us know the truth is time... Good Luck.. Warmest Wishes, Erica