Expert: Dana Q - 8/8/2008

Question
How do you deal with a breakup that you might have caused by pushing him away?  I had dated someone for a little over a year, during the last few months, I have pushed him away because I felt that he was not right for me.  He drank too much, sometimes was verbally abusive and always looked at other women.  He flirted with other women while we were dating and there always broken promises.  I am now dealing with him seeing someone else already and basically choosing her over me when I told him that I could not live without him in my life.  He is a user and was told by my sister that if he was into me he would be calling.  How do you deal with this?

Answer
Hi Kristin,

Thanks for writing to me.  You didn't push him away - you made a responsible, intelligent decision to get out of an unhealthy relationship.  This guy only cares about himself; if he were capable of love, he wouldn't verbally abuse you and flirt with other women, nor would he immediately jump into another relationship the minute you broke up.  You should consider yourself lucky that you didn't waste any more of your time with this loser.  Give it some time; eventually I think you will come to see that this was the best thing that could have happened.

Good Luck,

Dana Q