Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/10/2008

Question
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 days ago and I want her back so badly. We are both two VERY smart and opinionated individuals, that being said, we have done our share or senseless arguing over the 2+ months we've been together. I will be the first to admit that I can be demeaning and insensitive when it comes to things like this, if I know she's wrong, I'll always go out of my way to show her I'm right. I know thats not the best quality in a guy but sometimes we have fun with it, I just can't always sense when she becomes uncomfortable and I take it to far. For the short time we've been together, it's been fantastic. She's unlike any girl I've ever been with. She always tells me how special I am to her and the look in her eyes when she says it makes me think I may actually love her... So 4 days ago, things between us were just edgy for some reason. I was being a jerk to her and I didn't even know why. The next day I appologized and she said that we should talk later on in the day. I knew something was wrong, so I took the rest of the day off work and went home to think. I could not work, there was so many thoughts going through my head and I felt so emotional I couldn't stand it. She asked me if I left work because of her and I told her I "just wanted to go home and lay down". Later that day, I met her at her house for "the talk". I told her how scared I was and that I have never felt worse in my life for hurting someone's feelings, which was true. When we were talking, she told me all these things I knew I'd hear... how she wishes I'd treat her best friend better (I don't get along with her well) and that when we argue about things I treat her like a child and don't take her opinions seriously. I know these things happen sometimes but I'd do anything to make her happy. Which includes changing for the better. Because she means everything to me. We broke up thursday, it's sunday now and I have not spoken to her since thursday night after we broke up. How should I go about trying to get her back? How long should I wait? And is it worth it? I think so, but then again I'm just a guy...

Answer
Hi Nick,
The best thing that you can do is apologize and try to treat someone the way that you would want them to treat you.  So, if you think that your behavior is a little over the top then you may want to change that because you are uncomfortable with the way you are treating others.  You can let her know how you feel and see what she says - then give her some time to sort out her feelings, but we have to remember to not have the desire to change when we lose something or someone that we value, but rather to live as the best person that we can be on a daily basis.... Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica