Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/3/2008

Question
Hi and thank you for your time --

After being broken up with my ex for nearly a month, I am still being contacted by her father, who really likes me. He is seemingly trying to keep me in the family with the hopes of his daughter and I getting back together. I have indulged these conversations, mostly via e-mail, probably because I haven't let go of my ex. I know i was in an unhealthy relationship, and justified the bad feelings with the good, even though they were very unbalanced. I recently sent my ex an e-mail letting her know i am no longer in love with her, need space to heal and hope to eventually be friends. I sent an e-mail to her father letting him know I am trying to move on with my life and can no longer chat with him. My question is a) why do you suppose her parents sided with me in this breakup? It seems strange. Her father and mother actually told me they disagreed with my ex's choices. Secondly, is it appropriate for me to continue talking to my ex or her family? I have had lunch with my ex a few times, always ending in painful feelings. She does not make me happy, but my nature wants to nurture her broken heart.

Very best,

Tyler

Answer
Hi Tyler,
Her family may think you are a wonderful man who was good for their daughter and wishes that the 2 of you could stay together.  However, if you are truly done with this relationship you must sever the ties because this will only give false hope to your ex girlfriend.  Try the no contact for 60 days rule.... It usually works wonders.  After not speaking, texting, emailing, or seeing each other for 60 days the 2 of you can revisit the issue if you choose to.  Otherwise, it allows her as well as you to begin the healing process.  It's very kind that you want to nurture her broken heart, but she has a family and needs other friends to do that for her...... Warmest Wishes, Erica