Expert: Dana Q - 8/1/2008

Question
I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20. We have been dating for 3 years this August. We've been through alot. Parental divorces, my mom had cancer, death in the families and we've been there for eachother throughout all of it.

He will be going on his third year of college and I, my second. He goes to a UAlbany, which is pretty much a party school and this year he is getting a house with his buddies. I thought I trusted him, but now I find myself beginning to doubt this trust. I keep on getting thoughts of him cheating on me now since they will be partying a little more. He has never gave me any reason to not trust him. He is very outgoing so when he talks to girls I get the impression he is flirting, but then when I am at his mothers house he acts the same way with her as he does with the other girls. So, I know he cant be flirting with the other girls cause he reacts the same way with his mom.

Is there something wrong with me? I don't know what to do. I kind of want to break up just because I think I won't be able to handle him being up at school. All i know is that I love him so much and I knew we were meant to be together from the moment i saw him cause that was the first thing that popped in my head. I said to myself, "I can see myself having a future with him".

I've talked to him about how I was feeling and he assured me  I had nothing to worry about. He said he could never do that to me. But why would I be freaking out?

Thank you for reading and hopefully I hear from you soon

Sincerely,
Noelle

Answer
Hi Noelle,

Thanks for writing to me.  I think that what you're experiencing is natural because he will be in a new situation this year.  As long as he hasn't given you a reason to distrust him, you should try to relax and have some faith that your relationship is strong enough to withstand this.  The two of you have been together through so much already, and he has done his best to reassure you.  When you have these thoughts, try to tell yourself that it is just your imagination running away with you and that there isn't any real merit to your fears.

Good Luck,

Dana Q