Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/18/2008

Question
I had been with my ex girlfriend for almost two years. She helped me get out of money situations and made me into a really nice person. I had previoulsy been with someone before her for almost 4 years which fizzled out due to us wanting other people as we didnt love each other anymore and we still talk as good mates. I'm now 21 years old almost 22 so in regards to partners i really only had two. My recent split only happened about a week ago. I did everyting she ever wanted and we even got a home together (she bought it, i just paid rent). We had a split about 3 month ago and in that week of space she slept with someone she worked with and i forgave her for it and caried on as normal as we got back together. She decided to one day wake up and say she is miserable with me and their is no spark. Im absolutely gutted and it hurts me more than the last one. I hate the feeling knowing she will be with someone else or texting other people. Even worse she goes to the places i go and i have prettymuch begged and she just wont listen. I try everything and nothing. I worshiped the floor she walked on and never cheated on her. Now i feel like i have nothing and i won't even go to work. i just sit in and feel horrid.

Answer
Dear Ben,
You have to try and accept that the relationship is over and start moving on with your life.  Anything we chase in life typically runs away.  I am sorry that you are hurting and I have been there, but there is nothing that we can do except realize that the person we are in love with doesn't feel the same way.  But, know that there is someone out there for you and although you should treat a woman wonderfully you never have to worship her.  There should be mutual respect and trust.  A relationship has to have 3 things... a physical, emotional, and mental connection.  Without one of those it typically doesn't last, but this isn't a reflection of you - there are going to be people in your life that you are going to not "feel" it for.... its part of dating.  The sooner that you accept that it is over - the easier it becomes... you may want to avoid the places that she goes to for a little while.  Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica