Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/9/2008

Question
I have been engaged to my children's father for 3 1/2 years. He has been apathetic about everything in general since our oldest son was born, although he has been helpful and loving at odd intervals; our son is now 2 1/2. We have broken up and our daughter is now 4 months old. I love him dearly and don't want to file for child support b/c sometimes he helps me out financially although he can't afford to help much. He barely has enough money to pay his support of his other children and has hardly any money for food and clothes. I know this b.c he lets me log onto his payroll account to prove it. He really can't physically be here b/c he is a truck driver, and I don't know if should hold that against him or not. I don't know what to do. Should I file against him knowing he can't pay and will lose his license, or should i keep letting the kids go without a father and without much financial support? I don't want him to go to jail, but I am struggling so hard on my own. - sincerely confused....

Answer
Dear Dede,
It is his responsibility to be able to provide for his children.  Therefore, this is what I would do.  I would figure out what you need financially from him to make ends meet.  Then, I would present the amount to him and tell him that you won't take him to court as long as he pays this amount to you on a consistent basis.  If he doesn't then you are going to be forced to take him to court because you need to be able to support your children.  Then, the ball is in his court - he can look for a better paying job or work 2 jobs, but you shouldn't be left holding everything together.  Good Luck and Warmest Wishes, Erica..... I apologize for not responding sooner as the storms had the internet connections messed up...