Expert: ***ERICA*** - 9/4/2008

Question
so i met this guy last october, almost a year ago now, and we dated for
probably 2 months. however, while we ewre "together"(it was never
established as a relationship) he was dealing with depression, and stress from
his family. he wasn't liking living in la, etc. tough stuff. so i totally fell for
him-he's everything i wanted and all..but i've never had a real bf before, and i
didn't know how to progress with him. anyway long story short, he decides to
move back home, tells me we should be "just friends," at which point i was
like i don't think so,don't give me that. but he meant it-he'd call me and
remembered birthdays etc, and we'd always catch up every so often. by
phone. now, fast forward to present day, and he is still back home, has a
girlfriend and i'm not even over him. i feel just as strongly as i did when he
was here. and about 2 months ago, he tells me he still has feelings for me.
that he misses me and he's all flirty and everything! and i have been like hey
you have a gf what are you doing,but that isn't stopping him.and i mean we
never slept together while we were dating; and if he loves his gf,why would he
be telling me these things now? does he care for me, or only think of me as a
"piece of you-know what?" he lives 1000 miles away, with no chance of
having an affair with me in the immediate future, but he has apparently been
thinking of moving back here. i don't understand what he's doing,i want to
be back with him so bad but what if all he wants is sex? we were never
"together" so we never technically "broke up." but i kinda blew him off
recently in reaction to him trying to engage in shenanigans because i'm mad
that he's doing this to his gf. i don't get it. i know he's being untrustworthy
but i know him and his friends, and it's not like him. i guess he's just
confused????? is there ANY chance he could still care for me really??

Answer
Dear Elle,
I wouldn't stress too much over the situation unless he moves back into town.  That is when you will get a bigger picture as to what his motives are.  He could be confused and looking for a friend, but if you want to be friends with him I would stress to him that the conversation be on a friendly basis.  Since he is 1000 miles away - he really can't act on his desires at this moment.  AND YOU DESERVE MORE ANYWAY.  Whether or not he cares about you and to what degree is really not known at this time because he isn't available.  The fact that he is doing this to someone else is wrong and shows his character.  So, you need to decide if YOU really want someone like him in your life.  Good Luck and Warmest Wishes,  Erica.... Sorry it took so long to respond...the storms had the internet out...