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About ***ERICA***
Expertise
A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. I will tell you that I am extremely blunt and honest in my answers. I WILL NOT answer any questions asked by anyone under the age of 18. If you are looking for someone to sugarcoat the truth ~ please ask someone else. Also, I am only giving you my expert advice ~ I am not a fortune teller ~ I cannot predict the future and my main focal point is to help you get through a very difficult time because I have been there. XOXO

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BBA Expert in the How to Attract that Man of Your Dreams Engaged numerous times ~ grew from a self destructive person to a healthy woman. Hope to have helped many people go through this extremely difficult time. Firm believer in the book/movie: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ~ it is that simple

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BBA MBA

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups > Break-up

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups - Break-up

Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/27/2009

Question
Ok. So I was with my boyfriend for 7 months. About the 6th month I was feeling like I didnt want to be with him anymore but we lived together and I didnt know what to do. In this time I was going out a little more than normal, and wasnt giving him the attention I know he deserved. We didnt have sex for a month and a half and I know that was very wrong. But he noticed I wasnt happy and so I said we could talk later. I wrote him a letter saying all the things that I wasnt happy about including the fact he hadnt said he loved me yet. He doesnt let anyone in and that was a big problem. We also worked opposite. I said we either needed to spend more time together and try to fix it or we needed a few days apart or something. He wrote me one back saying that even though he hadnt said it I should have known by his action and they speak louder than words and so on. So it never got any better really and his family always goes to the beach on vacation for a week. He said this could be the time apart even though he wanted me to still go. I went out once or twice and he got mad for not coming to see him and his family. Well when he got back he went out but I thought he wasnt going to be back til the next day and he went out. He asked me to go but I had already invited a friend over because I didnt think he was coming home. He broke up with me in a text the next morning. I didnt realize until that night that I really was sorry for treating him that way and wanted to do anything to fix it and maybe it was better him moving out so we can have a fresh start. He said no and that maybe we just needed some space for now. He said to me he wanted to be friends for now, and maybe in the future we can see what happens. I mean one week before this he was saying how much he loved me and one day I woke up smiling and he said how much he loved to see that. I know he is hurting but I really realized a lot but he just doesnt believe me. We agreed on seeing eachother once a week to eat dinner or movies to just start as friends. He tells me that he still needs some time to think if it is worth to risk the same thing happening again, but I feel if it is not worth it to do that, then it wasnt worth anything to start with. What should I do? I have lost my best friend and I know I messed up a little but he is not perfect either. What should I do to make him see I am seriously heartbroken. I have told him but he doesnt see it. I have done everything. Maybe he is over me already, thats how he acts. Please give me some advice!

Answer
Dear Crystal,
First of all I definitely wouldn't continue to speak to him or see him on these weekly "date" nights. It's either you are broken up or working on getting back together. Right now he isn't going to miss you because you still see him on a weekly basis. I would tell him everything that you feel and how sorry you are, but that you can't continue to be his friend right now because it hurts too much. Also, you need to realize whether or not you want to really be with him... not just because he doesn't want to be with you now. There is a reason why you wanted to go out and spend time with other people other than him. So, do you really miss him or do you want him back because he doesn't want to be with you now??? These are questions only you can answer and time will give you the answers to those questions. If you do want him back ~ tell him that, but to do this "weekly" dating thing is pointless. If he misses you ~ he will want to try... nothing will stop him..... Time will tell.... and if you really want him... treat him that way... Otherwise... if both of you go your seperate ways: learn from this... Good Luck

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