About***ERICA*** Expertise A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. I will tell you that I am extremely blunt and honest in my answers. I WILL NOT answer any questions asked by anyone under the age of 18. If you are looking for someone to sugarcoat the truth ~ please ask someone else. Also, I am only giving you my expert advice ~ I am not a fortune teller ~ I cannot predict the future and my main focal point is to help you get through a very difficult time because I have been there. XOXO
Experience BBA
Expert in the How to Attract that Man of Your Dreams
Engaged numerous times ~ grew from a self destructive person to a healthy woman.
Hope to have helped many people go through this extremely difficult time.
Firm believer in the book/movie: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ~ it is that simple
Question Hello Erica.
My question is about a 6 yr relationship I've been in. I'm in my early 30s & he's 40. It's been rocky, because of alcoholism mixed in. I've moved to another city to live with him, but we have fought a lot over the years of living together. I no longer am physically attracted to him & thought that if he'd just quit drinking, it would fix that, since part of my unattraction is the odor of the alcohol on him. Now, he says he is ready to quit drinking. I'm unsure if that will fix things. So, my question remains: After physical/emotional attraction has disappeared due to circumstances like this, is that likely to be rekindled...or is it just time to move on? I'm just not sure if there's a way to MAKE myself be "attracted" to him again. I admire him as a person for he has a beautiful heart & is very caring, but I just don't feel anything sexual towards him any more. I have no libido at all, really....but I used to. Have I completely fallen out of love with him & should I just move on, or is there still hope for us? I don't want to continue wasting his time (or mine). Please feel free to be blunt. That is what I need right now. Thank you in advance for your time and thoughts.
-JB
(sorry if duped-caught a typo on my email)
Answer Dear Jenn,
Sorry it took me awhile to get back to you ~ I forgot to set my vacation settings... I apologize...
There is no way to make yourself attracted to someone.... If there is a little spark still burning it may be rekindled, but typically takes some time and a lot of space. My suggestion would be to move out and allow him to take care of his problem and see what happens. Don't make any promises to him and if you find yourself enjoying your life without him ~ then you will know. If after 90 days with NO CONTACT (which is what I strongly suggest) and miss him ~ then you will know that you do still carry that spark.... I would move out and soon as possible, tell him how you are feeling, let him get help on his own, and see how you feel 3 months from now after having NO CONTACT.... Good Luck
