Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/1/2009

Question
it has been 6 months since my boyfriend(32) of 2 yrs and i (25)broke up,and i'm still having a very hard time getting over him, i have gotten rid of everything about him,we dont contact eachother,but yet everyday i still think about him, i still cry over all our plans we had all the good times we shared last years. and now im just sick of being lonely and i try to get out there and hang out,meet people,date but i get really scared. b/c i think if he comes back i'm not gonna have anything left for him. and then i will feel bad b/c i am holding on to something that, right now is nothing. how do i stop being so scared

Answer
Dear Sarah,
I feel your pain and I absolutely hate this word:  TIME.... they say that it typically takes half of the time that you are with someone to start moving on with your life.  I wouldn't pressure yourself though ~ you will know when you are ready to move on, but I wouldn't continue to hold on to hope because hope can be debilitating and stop you from doing many things and meeting some FABULOUS people.  The thing is ~ if he does come back maybe you won't want to be with him anymore.... breakups are hard because of change... and routine.... we don't break up because we are so in love with each other... we break up because one or both parties are unhappy... However, as time goes by we seem to forget exactly how bad it was.... You will stop being scared when you have given yourself enough time and when you are ready.... You have done all the right things by getting rid of everything and having NO CONTACT which is very important...... your doing everything right.... don't beat yourself up too much or expect so much... Good Luck..