Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/14/2009

Question
my two and a half year relationship has ended again but this time its for good. we have broken up numerous times and got back together and lm always the one to end it-usually within days he texts me to get me back but not this time and its been almost two weeks! i know l should be glad its over as he verbally abuses me and l do feel that to a degree he has broken my spirit. also he has pushed me around and smashed my house up-not healthy and l certainly dont feel respected by him but my god my hearts breaking. i feel sick! im going out with friends etc but l cant get him out of my head. i ended my 20yr marriage a few wks before l met him and didnt feel this way. im 40 and hes 30 but the age gap wasnt the issue

Answer
Dear Debbie,
What you are feeling is completely normal.... you are ending a relatively long relationship.  However, for very good reason... When respect or trust is broken in a relationship it is very difficult to save it.  You obviously know what you need to do and that is take baby steps... you aren't going to feel better instantly.... It takes time... time... and more time.... As for him being in your head all of the time... you really can't compare it to anything else because you are in a different place now then you were every other time.  We handle breakups differently each time.... It definitely sounds like you did the right thing for yourself... but, the only thing that is going to make you feel better is to surround yourself with great people and time.... Good Luck