Expert: ***ERICA*** - 10/31/2009

Question
My boyfriend recently just broke up w/ me we were together for 2 1/2 yrs we had a daughter together she is 1 1/2. We broke up because I kissed another guy because my boyfriend at the time wasn't paying attention to me he never gave me a break from my daughter. I felt bad after wards I cried so hard because this man loved me he took care of me and baby fiancial wise. So I called him I confessed and I said sorry a million times. He said he needs to think about it...for a week things seemed back to normal then one mourning he woke up pretty mad and said it was over and I could be with the guy I kissed. For 2 hrs I begged for him to change his mind but he said no...Then 2 days after the break up I got drunk with a few friends (Note: I still live with my ex) And he came home and we got into a physical fight and the cops were called...I felt stupid for doing what I did I said sorry I didn't know what I was doing...Before we got into this fight I came close to him saying I can move out have my own place and we would date...I thought it would be good because he would have his own space and I would have mine...I think I messed up and I just love him I can't throw away 2 1/2 yrs I mean we had a baby together I just want him back and I need advice

Answer
Dear Araya,
Get your act together and start acting like a responsible mother and woman.  Then, he may want to be with you ~ he may not.  Put yourself in his shoes...If he wasn't giving you the attention you needed then you should have talked to him about it and if you still weren't getting it you should have broken up with him ~ period.  This relationship may not be good for you, but you are overwhelmed with guilt and feeling rejected that you aren't able to think clearly right now.  Spend some time alone with your child and yourself.  Figure out if this relationship is what you want.  You don't need his financial dependence because he needs to pay for his child and you can figure out what you want to do with your own life.... However, the situation that you describe in your email is not healthy so something drastic needs to be done..... Step away from the situation ~ give him his space and concentrate on you and what you want.... Good Luck