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About ***ERICA***
Expertise
A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. I will tell you that I am extremely blunt and honest in my answers. I WILL NOT answer any questions asked by anyone under the age of 18. If you are looking for someone to sugarcoat the truth ~ please ask someone else. Also, I am only giving you my expert advice ~ I am not a fortune teller ~ I cannot predict the future and my main focal point is to help you get through a very difficult time because I have been there. XOXO
Experience
BBA
Expert in the How to Attract that Man of Your Dreams
Engaged numerous times ~ grew from a self destructive person to a healthy woman.
Hope to have helped many people go through this extremely difficult time.
Firm believer in the book/movie: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ~ it is that simple
Education/Credentials
BBA
MBA
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups > 6 year breakup
Expert: ***ERICA*** - 11/5/2009
Question
Hello... I'm 26 years old. I'm struggling with my first breakup. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We had been together 6 years. It was my 1st relationship. He said that he no longer loves me... that he needs to find himself. It was unexpected. I know he hasn't been happy with his life, but I thought that are relationship was in a good place. We were very young when we first got together and we ended up practically married. My heart and future was set with him. He says he loves me but he's not in love with me. We lived together so my life is completely with him... now, I just don't know how to deal with this.... I can't eat or sleep. I keep crying all the time. I don't want to go to work or school (I go to college). I can't focus.... I just don't know how to let go or move on. I know that it's only been a day... I just don't know how long this pain will last. I don't know if I should hope that we'll get back together or if I should work on moving on. I love him so much. I would love some advice on what to do. He said he'd call to check up on me. Should I ignore the call or answer it? Should I call him? I'm just completely devastated. I have problems with panic attacks and I'm worried I'm going to have one because of this. What should I do?
-Marie
Answer
Dear Marie,
I know the pain you are feeling ~ actually... I understand all of the emotions that you are feeling, but you have to keep yourself going with atleast the basics.... eating, sleeping, showering, and attending school. You feel like your whole world was turned upside down which it was, but you don't have a choice right now. The only choice you have is how long are you going to dwell on what could have been or should have been versus dealing with the reality of the situation. He was honest with you and wants to move on with his life. Try to keep telling yourself that ~ tell yourself that you did the best you could, devoted six years of your life to him, and he doesn't want to be with you because he isn't in love with you. Is this painful and rejection?? ABSOLUTELY, but it will help you understand the reality of the situation and start the healing process. DO NOT accept his calls or text messages ~ let him see what life is like without you. There is no way that the 2 of you can be friends right now ~ if ever. DEFINITELY NO CONTACT is the only way you are going to even start to put the pieces of your life together. You may love him, but he doesn't feel the same way.... There are going to be times in your life where someone cares so much about you and you aren't going to feel the same way. I understand exactly how you are feeling because I have been there. The best revenge is SUCCESS. Concentrate on you and doing the things you need to do for yourself. Always look your best, try to feel your best (fake it til you make it), and find new things to do. Surround yourself with your family and friends. This is going to take you a long time to get over.... They say it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them. See a doctor regarding your panic attacks ~ and try to find some comfort in knowing that you deserve to be with someone who is in love with you....... Good Luck
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