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About ***ERICA***
Expertise
A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. I will tell you that I am extremely blunt and honest in my answers. I WILL NOT answer any questions asked by anyone under the age of 18. If you are looking for someone to sugarcoat the truth ~ please ask someone else. Also, I am only giving you my expert advice ~ I am not a fortune teller ~ I cannot predict the future and my main focal point is to help you get through a very difficult time because I have been there. XOXO

Experience
BBA Expert in the How to Attract that Man of Your Dreams Engaged numerous times ~ grew from a self destructive person to a healthy woman. Hope to have helped many people go through this extremely difficult time. Firm believer in the book/movie: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ~ it is that simple

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BBA MBA

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups > Heartbroken after 6 years, Girlfriend broke up with me for no reason.

How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups - Heartbroken after 6 years, Girlfriend broke up with me for no reason.

Expert: ***ERICA*** - 11/1/2009

Question
OK here it goes. My girfriend broke up with me recently after 6 years of love, when we met she was 18 and I was 21. For those 6 years we had the best relationship and I was the envy of all my friends, we were more then just lovers, we were best friends. She was the light at the end of my day, the person I would think of every morning, anything bad that would happen to me in life I could simply say "its no problem because Im blessed to have found my true love and to be in such a good situation". Friends of mine would always say that they wished they could have connected with someone on the level that we did. We rarely got into fights, and when we did it was resolved in moments, we truely loved each other. She would sleep over and we would cuddle and spend the whole morning together simply because we loved each others company, the sex was amazing as well. Then at the beginning of 2009 I became ill, an illness that lasted more then 10 months (I wont get into specifics) and I wasnt the same person I used to be, I was bedridden and could rarely leave the house and spend quality time with her, and when I did it was extremely hard to pretend to be myself. I finally recovered in October but I think it was too late, she had fallen out of love with me. She broke up with me in September, I told her how much I loved her and she took me back... only to break up with me again a week and a half later. She said that she "needed space", "wanted to be independant", and "wished she had met me later in life". All I could do was try to be the bigger man and apologize to her for giving her a reason to break up with me. I asked her to remember me as the person she fell in love with not the person she fell out of love with. I try to live by the old expresion "if you love something let it go, if it comes back then you know" but I feel miserable. I work full time, go to school at night, volunteer with underpriveleged kids on the weekend, am on a basketball and football team that plays on the weekends and with all this going on I still cant stop thinking about her. Its been a month since the breakup and I thought it would be getting better but I still think about her 24/7. I want to know if she is ok because for 6 years we talked everyday and knew everything about each other. There are so many good things going on in my life but they are dwarfed because I have no one to share them with. The only reason I am in ruins is beacause I know this beautiful girl is my true love, and I knew that since the first day I met her. I told everyone my plans of marrying her eventually... except her, and I feel absolutely miserable for that. I dont know what to do because I feel as if my heart is broken and can never be repaired. I can't believe the love of my life is gone, I never thought this day would come.

Answer
Dear Steven,
You need to stop blaming yourself ~ you couldn't help it that you got sick and I can relate to that. However, during this time she may have experienced being single and since the two of you got together so early in life ~ she may feel like she needs to sow her oats now. It is unfortunate if you guys were so close, but there is nothing you can do except let her go. You are doing all of the right things to move on with your life.... If and when she wants to talk to you ~ she will let you know, but I wouldn't do that until she shows you that you are who she really wants to be with.... anything short of that will just continue your pain, but ease her guilt. The only thing that is going to help you now is time... time will help you heal.... This is going to be one of the worst pains that you have ever felt... Continue to focus on you and put it in your head that this was her decision and hers alone..... If this is meant to be ~ it will be..... Good Luck

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