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About ***ERICA***
Expertise
A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. I will tell you that I am extremely blunt and honest in my answers. I WILL NOT answer any questions asked by anyone under the age of 18. If you are looking for someone to sugarcoat the truth ~ please ask someone else. Also, I am only giving you my expert advice ~ I am not a fortune teller ~ I cannot predict the future and my main focal point is to help you get through a very difficult time because I have been there. XOXO
Experience
BBA
Expert in the How to Attract that Man of Your Dreams
Engaged numerous times ~ grew from a self destructive person to a healthy woman.
Hope to have helped many people go through this extremely difficult time.
Firm believer in the book/movie: HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ~ it is that simple
Education/Credentials
BBA
MBA
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Dating > How to Breakup/Deal With Break Ups > Do i still love her, I feel lost?
Expert: ***ERICA*** - 11/2/2009
Question
Hi there
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and living together for 2. She is lovely, supportive, out going, accepting, intelligent, caring, trustworthy, beautiful and funny, in many ways a perfect girlfriend. We have had our ups and downs, with most of the downs being my fault or created by me because I have again started to question our relationship and how I feel.
My problem is that I regularly question how I feel, if she is the one, or do I want more. This questioning process leaves me distant and troubled and I feel like I have to fight to feel how couples should feel, that I have to tell myself to truly love her as she deserves.
Currently she is away training all week (for the past 6 weeks) and only back on Sunday's, this has only made my questioning worse as I now have all week to contemplate how I feel about us. This ends in 2 weeks and I don't even want to broach the subject before then as she needs support and a clear head to finish the training. I question if it is just the lack of time we have had recently and that with more time together I won't have to 'try' to feel good about our relationship or if I should break her heart and end the relationship.
Any advice is welcome thanks
Answer
Dear Al,
After all of this time it is interesting that you are questioning the relationship now... Have you met someone else?? Has there been a significant change in your relationship?? or are you just bored? You should NEVER have to TRY to feel something for someone ~ that is definitely not healthy. Maybe you need to be honest with her and spend some time apart.... One of you moving out... and having no contact for 90 days...... I would see how you feel when she gets home and if you are still feeling the same way I would have a long talk with her because she deserves that.... Good Luck
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