Expert: ***ERICA*** - 12/25/2009

Question
Hi, my name is Gabriel I’m 21 years old and I have ran into a real mess. Been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now about 6 months ago she moved in with me to my apartment, well turns out that after a while things don’t seem like I thought it would be, as dating of course she’s her best but at home I realize how controlling and bad she can be, we been having a lot a lot of problems in our relationship, no violence but real hard aggression and I really don’t want this to keep going, I can’t kick her out since she would have to go to her family in NY because she had no one here :| but I want her gone! I don’t know how to break up with her, I have told her before that this is not working out and she swears to me that we can work it out, but is not that anymore... is just now I don’t feel the same way for her and I don’t know if she'll understand that. Please I would appreciate some of your help! Thank you for your time.

Answer
Dear Gabriel,
Tell her the truth and finalize it.  Give her a time frame to make other living arrangements, but you sound very confident in your decision and it is your life and you deserve to be happy.  If you aren't feeling it anymore there is nothing she can do to change that.  We really get to know someone when we start living with them and at 21.... you are going to have some of the greatest times of your life.  Give her a 30 day time period for her to decide on her living arrangements.... it's not your responsibility and that is a fair amount of time.... During those 30 days try to stay out of the apartment as much as possible so that you don't start doubting your decision because she may be on her best behavior.... It is going to be sad for you when she leaves, but the best decision for you at this time.  Good Luck.