Expert: ***ERICA*** - 12/12/2009

Question
I have dated many guys in my 22 years and the before I met this one I swore I was going to go on hiatus to "find myself". However, the flowers and the charm all had a strong effect on me and I went into the relationship because I didn't want to have any regrets of missing an opportunity to meet the potential love of my life. Over 1.5 years later, the doubts are growing stronger and difference bigger. I want to travel, explore the world and he just seems to want to stay in this area and take it day by day. He is unsure about kids and had a shocked look on his face when I mentioned marriage. I have big dreams and right now it feels like his the grass isn't always greener on the other side attitude is getting me down sometimes. We are comfortable. But the sex is pretty much nonexistent and we have different perspectives on health, exercise and spirituality. He got a gym membership but he never goes and it seems like we are more like friends every day.I think the weight issue contributes to the sex problem and i have tried nagging, coaxing and seriously talking about it and the leaving it alone but I guess people don't change if they don't want to. Emotionally and educationally he is very supportive but sexually and inspirationally things are difficult. What should I do? Do we break up? Do we go on a break? How do you break it off with someone you love?

Answer
Dear Michelle,
You need passion in a relationship for it to work.  It sounds like you want to experience life and there is nothing wrong with that.  You can experience life while being in a relationship and do all of the things that you want to do, but it doesn't seem like you are really happy with this relationship.  People don't change ~ unless they want to ~ that is a true statement.  However, with that said... you can change... you can change yourself and do the things you want to do..... Life is short... There is a whole world out there and if your desire is to experience it.... DO IT!!!! Otherwise ~ you will be filled with regrets!!  Good Luck