Expert: Julie - 2/17/2009

Question
Recently my boyfriend and I broke up, well now, ex-boyfriend to get
technical. It's been really tough on me. For the main reason that he did the
breaking up and the rejection is actually quite unbearable at times. I question
whether or not he even loved me, or whether or not he even cared about me.
And of course, I know these answers my self, but it's just too hard to think
about.

He's moved on  very fast, a week after we had broken up, he had slept with a
few girls and unfortunately, I found out. But, I got over it in a week and
moved on with my life. I realized he was no one to me and not someone that i
ever wanted to associate with. It's the moving on very fast that's really
upsetting me. He has no respect for me at all and it's so sad. I can't believe I
ever dated someone like that in my life.

I don't ever regret being with him, but I'm embarrassed that I was fooled into
believing his ways.

How can I move on faster? I'm too stuck on recapping what went wrong and
right in the relationship.

(we dated for almost 2 years, by the way).

Becky

Answer
Well he probably moved on in the sense that some people just deal with break ups by sleeping with others, or rebounding..its their way of dealing with the pain. I know a lot of people have done it. Of course it hurts but i'm glad to hear you decided to move on from that.
I know how hard it is to think someone who once cared for you and loved you could move on that fast. But i'd say its more him dealing with the break up than moving on..for all you know he's upset about the break up.
AS for you, try not to focus too much on on what went wrong or right in the relationship. Theres no point in that, its just gonna keep you from moving on. You need to let it go...and focus on yourself. Go out even if you don't feel like it and do things with friends. I know everyone says that, but its true.
Once you start focusing yourself more and moving on with your life, the less you will care about him and what went wrong.

good luck..