Expert: Julie - 3/4/2009

Question
Hi,
I'm not the kind of a person that ever does this, asks and seeks others' help. But I can't seem to do this on my own.

A few years ago, I met a girl in houston, I saw her and by the very first day, I fell in love. Head Over heels. We dated pretty unofficially for a very short time, and then she moved away with family to another state. We didn't talk for 3 years, and over that period of time I couldn't get her out of my mind. We finally started talking again, and I drove for six hours to go meet her. We met up at the mall, but we couldn't spend much time together. So I drove home. I tried calling her 3 or 4 times after that visit, and she didn't want to talk to me. So I got the message.

So here's my question: How do I get over her? I feel like I'm in real trouble, because I don't see ever loving any other girl in the world. And this isn't a short emotion, this will last for years. As long as I have her in my head, I can't fall in love with another girl. If she was out, I could fall in love. But I can't fall in love with anyone else. No matter how much I try. I don't know what to do.
Thanks a heap,
Zach

Answer
I think truthfully you haven't fallen in love with anyone else because you haven't met anyone else you have any strong feelings for and your probably comparing her to others.
See after I broke up with someone after ten years together, I dated but couldn't get my ex out of my head..even if I liked other guys. It took until I met someone else who I developed strong feelings towards to finally forget about my ex. It took two years though.

You kind of need to open yourself up to meeting other girls and giving them a chance. As long as you keep telling yourself you will not get over her and won't love anyone else, your keeping yourself closed off. You need to get out there and meet new people and get on with your life, go out with friends and start having fun. When your constantly occupied you won't think of her as much anymore.

Good luck

Julie