Expert: Julie - 3/9/2009

Question
I recently lost my girlfriend, I had known her for almost a year and a half all of which has a deep background. I met her on my friend/roommate 21 birthday, she was our bartender and knew people we were with. She got off and went to another bar with us where we first talked, she ended up in a casual sex relationship with him as we remained friends and got closer knowing there was something there.They got into it and we fell off for a few months, then I reconnected and picked up as friends where we left off and eventually admitted we were very into each other. I had never met anyone like her, we thought very alike and connected in most aspects of life unlike anyone else I knew. We moved in together and spent months the happiest I've ever been and she agreed she was completely in love. Around x-Xmas we had a few problems (small squabbles) and we decided to spend days here and there apart, she continued to hang out with a friend of mine when I wasn't there. I was a little disturbed by this but put it aside, I found out he slept there a few nights even though she had no intrust in him he had other thoughts. When I showed up someday to see her he was there acting innocent, she was upset when I got there because of some things he had said about me that were untruthful and some just ridiculous. She was to upset to hear anything I had to say and just belittled me,as I was walking out I asked if she ever wanted to see me again and got the response no. I closed the door with a broken heart and went outside and knocked my friend out, and me and her haven't spoken since that night. We were together (joined at the hip) for almost 6MO in the relationship, she was 27 and him 23. I miss her immensely but just really want her friendship and don't know what to do, I don't want to lose two feds over it but one showed his true colors so I can live with that one. I have never connected with anyone they way I did with her, should I walk away and not look back or try and salvage a friendship(how?)

Answer
If you want to be friends with her alls you have to simply do is call or email her and tell her that. Just tell her you don't want to lose her friendship. If she doesn't respond, I would just leave it alone until she's ready, and let her come to you. But at least she will know the door is open your willing to be her friend, even if she doesn't respond right away.

Good luck!