Expert: Julie - 3/23/2009

Question
I met a guy through one of my flatmate a few months back. We hit it off well. Later, my flatmate had to move out so this guy moved in. We became good friends, he did a lot for me as a friend. We used to live like a nice small family. But I felt he was flirting a lot more than I could handle, so I told him to stop. But i also liked the guy, and both of us were single, so I told him that if he was serious then he should say that. Earlier once casually he had mentioned that he liked me so much that he could marry my kind of a girl. After I told him to stop flirting, he came to my room to thank me for the conversation and we ended up kissing. Since then we spend some very good personal moments together, but never spoke about the relationship properly. I became very insecure. When I asked him he started avoiding me and then said he was not fooling, was very serious but wanted to start a fresh by being friends first since things were moving very fast physically. He also stopped doing things for me like he used to and ignored me. He stopped spending time with me. We had a few bad fights and grew apart.

After that he tried many times to be friends again, but i was very angry from our fights. He had hurt me a lot. I also learnt he had proposed to another girl just one month before we got together. But she had refused and she was not interested in him. He used to do a lot for that girl but nothing much for me, even after we got together. But when I asked he always said they were just friends. The girl also told me she is not interested in him at all.

I share my dreams with this guy (very rare in my case). I know we are compatible he is Capri and i am pisces. Now we have resolved our fights, we still stay in the same flat. But I am not sure if what he had was lust or love. He insists he liked me, but was messed up and needed time which I didnt give him so he drifted away. So now he wants to be friends and not talk about relationship at all. I dont know whether to be friends or forget him and move on. I dont want to get more hurt. I really like him and cant get him out of my mind. But I dont know if he even thinks about me..I dont even know if he is lying about liking me, because he didnt make any efforts to make the relationship work.


Answer
Its hard to say whats going on with this guy but sounds to me like he doesn't know what he wants!!
I would personally just steer clear of him and move on..unless you are okay with just being friends with him and thats it, but I wouldn't push for anything else. If you can't handle being friends then you need to move on and forget about him.


Good luck

Julie