Expert: Julie - 3/21/2009

Question
I really need some help/advice.

In the last 3 months, my ex-boyfriend has been harassing me.
He leaves nasty letters and strange packages in my post office box, and he has been text-messaging me constantly.  He watches me, follows me around, and claims that I'm sleeping with another man who is my friend.

I have constantly defended myself and it is not helping. He always assumes I'm with this other man, and I'm NOT. I don't know how to make him see what I see.

I still love my ex. I haven't gotten over him.

I need your help. Can you help me find a way to make him see the light?

Answer
Was he insecure like this during the relationship? He's stalking you and that is a crime. If you want to take action you can always report him to the police and be careful, people like him can be harmful if they get jealous enough. Theres probably not much you can do to make him see the light, he sounds like he has his mind made up that this is what is happening and you won't be able to convince him otherwise. Try to stop defending yourself, it just feeds his 'power' and insecurity. You need to start ignoring him but also please be careful.
The only way you'd be able to make him see the light is if you completely quit hanging out with this other guy, or any other guy for that matter which I'm sure you don't want to do.
Unfortunatly guys like him have their mind made up. I had an ex like that and nothing I did would convince him I wasn't sleeping around..its their problem, and not one you can fix unfortunatly.

Good luck..

Julie