Expert: Julie - 4/3/2009

Question
My boyfriend of 3 years has told me he never really loved me.  I don't want to break up and I want him to reconsider although I know he probably won't.  He seems to have "reconnected" with an old flame, which I think is the reason for his actions.  He claims it isn't.  How do I deal with him wanting to still be friends?  We live together and I'm having a very difficult time dealing with the whole situation.  Do you think he'll ever change his mind and is there any way I can get him to do that?

Answer
If your boyfriend says he doesn't love you then you need to believe him. My ex never really loved his girlfriend and he left her and she tried really hard to make him love her, even tried to go on a trip to bond but it never worked. The more she tried, the more she pushed him away.
So theres nothing you can do to change his mind. If he did love you he wouldn't tell you he didn't and he would try to keep you in his life.
I don't think its a good idea to be friends with him if you still have feelings for him. You need to move out and cut off contact with him. If he decides he misses you and does have feelings for you, he'll find you and try to reconnect and thats about all you can do. Otherwise don't waste any time or energy to try to make someone feel for you something they don't. Your worth more than that. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on.

good luck

Julie