Expert: Julie - 4/16/2009

Question
Dear julie...I have been dating my ex boyfriend for almost 3 years and we
have a 4 month old daughter together. We have had our ups and downs
in the past but most of all downs. We live together and we just broke up 2
days aqgo. I know the break up is fresh but its taking a toll on me. There
wasn't anything significant that happened it was a minor argument.
When I came to him to address the issue, he told me he didn't care and
that he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. That hurt so bad. He
said that we just don't belong together and we don't agree on anything.
For the most part we do not agree on most things. I believe I lost a part of
who I am during this relationship and I believe he feels he can't be his
self. I think we need to work on ourselves before we can be in a
relationship. My question to you Julie is how do we get through this
heartbreak while living with each other and taking care our 4 month old
daughter? We have lived together for a year and a half and I don't
remember how to do things without him because mainly he has been
there. How do I begin to start a life without him being in my life but in my
daughters? I would have like to try and make it work for her but he
doesn't.

Answer
Thats too bad he doesn't want to make things work but unfortunatly thats his decision.
Your right though, you both do need some time apart to learn more about yourselves and learn to be more independant. Its going to be hard while you are both living together, its hard to move on. Alls you can do is no matter what, just act like his friend. Don't put any pressure on him to try to work things out, or ask any kind of relationship questions. That will just make him mad and push him away.

Then you both need to figure out what to do about your living situation and child support..

good luck!!!

Julie