Expert: Julie - 5/20/2009

Question
QUESTION: hey , i broke up with my EX since 2 month and he claimed that i kept on
hurting him because sometimes i think negatively and i pranked him once on
the phone , i sent a message and i was like do you have a girlfriend, he got
annoyed and he left me but then he came back to me but then he left me
again becasue i didnt listen to him when he asked me something. we became
friends and i felt that i couldnt take it this way so i told him that lets stop
being friends and he was like as you like and i think it affecyed him becasue
he didnt g oto work the next day , i called him and i was like lets be friends
and he was like i am not a game, i kept insisting on him until he accepted but
then he was not the same , his attitude changed and once he told me to stay
away from him or else he will show me the bad side and i said okay i will stay
away from you but then after some days i sent him an email to ask about
something and i was very polite on the email and he didn't reply me , i was so
angry that i sent him a message on the mobile and i told him that i hate him
and i hate the day i dated him and he replied to me with smily faces. and now
i dont know if i should call him or no because i feel that i miss him coz he
was so close to me and he loved me like everything and anything , and i am
the only girl he stayed friends after a break-up and i am the only girl he got
back to after the first breakup , i don't know what to do shall i call him or
shall i just ignore or do i send him a message and what do i say if i did ,
please help me


ANSWER: I think at this point its better to leave him alone, at least for a while. I'd wait a couple weeks or more and then maybe send a nice, short message asking how he's doing..and leave it at that. If you constantly message him, alls you will end up doing is pushing him away..not a good idea.
Just give it some time and space, and like I said, only a short message just to let him know your thinking about him and leave it. If he doesn't reply, don't send anymore messages, just let him come to you when or if he's ready.

Good luck

Julie

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: what if he ignored me and didn't reply me , i will be feeling low like this . and
plus me and his cousin are friends and he calls me from work sometimes and
i hear my EX's voice while he's talking to his friends and he was laughing
today with them, i felt that he's doing fine like he doesn't care of what
happened. and plus his birthday is next month , shall i call him and say
happy-birthday or just ignore him . . .

ANSWER: Yes its always hard when we are grieving and they are laughing and having fun, but you don't know what he's feeling inside.

As for contacting him, I wouldn't. Just leave it alone..its hard I know, but since he didn't contact you yet then its better to not contact him.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: even in his birthday i wont contact him?

Answer
Well its up to you, but personally I wouldn't, I wouldn't be bothered to give him the time of day since he won't for you. I work with my ex, I'm still trying to get over it and I didn't even wish him a happy birthday.
If he can't be bothered to talk to you, then you shouldn't be bothered to do anything for him. He doesn't deserve it and you deserve far more.