Expert: Julie - 5/18/2009

Question
I made contact with a college friend 3 months ago. He lives in a different city and travels alot for work  He has been divorced twice, but came down to see me for two quick visits. I was quickly interested in spending as much time with him as his schedule would allow and was open with him in emails expressing invitations to visit.. and he responded well.  I am not a big phone caller, but have sent him many emails since..most are replied to within a day and if I asked if I was over doing communicating with him, he always responded that he was glad to hear from me.
Then a week ago, he mentioned he had been on the road for 3 weeks, so asked if I could come up and visit him .. if a trip down to me soon was not going to be easy.  He said to be patient and he would be down as soon as he could.  He then did say that he was feeling like I was getting into things abit more than was suggested by two visits..and to that altho we would see each other again.. it was not as much as he could tell I would like. Okay.. I was crushed but accepted this with dignity.. for about 8 days.. when I couldn't take it anymore and sent him 2 emails about 3 paragraphs each.. the first saying I was sorry for having been pushy but thanking him for letting me down easy ...and that altho I sensed I was not so welcome to visit him, he was always welcome to come back to my home..and I hoped to see him again ( I know.. pathetic).and then later that day I sent another message, saying that it was probably best that we just be great friends..and tennis pals like we were in college..admitting that I am not very good at the guy thing and dating and altho seeing him more romantically was my interest, that perhaps friends was the best way to go.. well of course I sent those days ago..and have not heard from him.. and I am feeling so embarassed for those emails.. he must think I am unstable...how do we get over our feelings of such embarassment and humiliation . of having so exposed ourselves as so interested ? would love any advice you have so I can resume my otherwise happy state of mind!
Thank you, sam

Answer
Well when it comes to matters of the heart we all make those mistakes. I know I have many times and then I look back and think what was I thinking??

Just realize you were acting emotionally but don't write anymore emails of any kind to him, just let him contact you next time..if he doesn't then just let it lie.

But don't beat yourself up over it, we've all done it.

Good luck
Julie