Expert: Julie - 5/11/2009

Question
Hello..Thank-you in advance for your time in answering my question. My question is if I should contact my ex because I was the one who broke up with him? Would it ruin my chances of getting him back? The reason I broke up with him is because it appeared that he was becoming distant by not calling me or attempting to spend time with me. After meeting him I was head over heels. He is very shy and I asked him out originally because he never would have had enough guts and he told me this. He is 34 and so am I so I feel that we don't have time to waste in go-nowhere relationships..we dated for 1.5 years..I met his family..He told his friend he wanted to marry me. We have had some struggles..we broke up for a few weeks at christmas and I heard through the grapevine that he asked a co-worker to his friends christmas party..but it was just a few days after that he was back calling me and appearing like we were an item again.. Actually we have broken up and got back together alot..I am always the one to call him first and he readily takes me back. Sometimes I think I break up with him too easily but this christmas party thing has been too much to handle.
I am asking this question because I really like this guy alot. Should I just forget about him or go after what I really want? Do I lose my "game" and attractability by being the one who calls to get him back? I'am lonely and I don't want to waste my time either..

Answer
If I were you I'd go after what you really want because with this much breaking up and getting back together it doesn't sound like its very healthy and it probably won't work out in the long run. Don't ever date someone because you are lonely, its a waste of time and it keeps you from finding the person who is right for you. Its also wasting his time. Let him go now unless you are serious about making it work and not breaking up with him. The more you break up the less he'll want to work it out and he'll distance himself.

Good luck

Julie