Expert: Julie - 5/30/2009

Question
Hi Julie..

I have emailed you before about a guy I am trying to get over.  If you might recall, I called him "g"

He was the guy for a while who over the past year kept dangling the carrot as you said.. But then kept pulling away.  He was then out of town..but I was still having a hard time getting over him.. Eventhough.. I would never initiate contact... He would email, or facebooK. But I would always nicely respond to his messages..  In the end you pointed out that I am letting him do the dance.. Well now he is back in town.. He facebooked me about wanting to go for a drink.  Usually I would respond by saying yes and letting him know I was available.  Well this time.. I just said. I am really busy at work.  Well then he said he would call me later in the week. Well.. it is later in the week and he hasn't called and it's bothering me.. Cause I feel he is jerking me around again. I agree with you.. Seeing him will only give him the satisfaction that he can still mess with my head.. I deserve better.  I haven't talked to him or let him know when I am available.  That's what I usually did in the past..when he doesn't call when he says he will call.  I am quite proud of myself for not doing that this time around.  But I am still going crazy.. I am going out with the girls tonight..have had a busy day..But I am still tempted to facebook him.. But I don't. Usually, when he says he'll call, he does.. Well he hasn't.  It just makes me so mad that he's still doing the game..

I have put theory into practice, but it still hurts..when will it stop.

Have I been doing the right thing?

Signed

Trying desperately to move on.  

Answer
You totally did the right thing. I know its driving you crazy but its better than telling him your available and then having him not call and then jerking you around. Either way, no matter what you do, he won't come around and suddenly start treating you right, thats what you gotta keep in mind as the bottom line. Its better to ignore him and have your dignity and self respect than to keep giving him the sign that you are desperate and willing to do anything for him. Its not going to get you anywhere with him anyways.

Keep it up, your doing good!!!

Julie