Expert: Dana Q - 5/27/2009

Question
im 21, he's 24. we have a 2 month old baby. we're not married yet.he is a very responsible person. i live in his house and i dont pay the bills YET, because im still in school, taking my masters degree. When we fight, he tells me to leave and never come back. ive forgiven him for the nth time. but, i've repeatedly told him to stop his "leave the house" line. its hurting me a lot and i feel so unloved. sometimes, i cry myself yo sleep, regretting that i ever met him. i am already thinking of leaving him once i finish my masters degree in 6 months time. i feel bad that he also tells me that im no good. i feel like i am with a cold-hearted monster. if i leave, im bringing the baby with me. please advise me. i dont think the relationship is doing me any good. is he a control freak? is he abusive? why is he doing that? ive asked him why he does that, he tells me its because, i dont follow his rules. he treats me like his subordinate, not a partner.
i want to leave and find a man that would love me and treat me well.

Answer
Hi Claine,

Thanks for writing to me.  Yes, it definitely sounds to me as though your husband is abusing you.  This is not a situation that is going to change, and you don't want your child growing up thinking that this is how a man should treat a woman.  You are right thinking that you deserve to find someone who treats you well.  It is time for you to make arrangements to leave your husband.  Do you have family or friends who would be willing to help you?  Please find a way out of this situation ASAP.

Good Luck,

Dana Q