About Michael Freeman Expertise How to break-up
How to break-up with your girlfriend
How to break-up with your boyfriend
How to deal with a break-up
How to break-up with compassion and kindness
How to leave a codependent relationship
How to deal with a needy partner
How to deal with a demanding partner
How to deal with emotional and psychological abuse
Experience You might call me a "break-up artist."
I've studied psychology and relationships for over 10 years. I have experience counseling men through difficult relationships, and I'm exceptionally knowledgable about how to approach issues of separation and breaking up.
In other words, I help people deal with unhappy relationships.
I have written an ebook on leaving unhealthy relationships titled "A Way Out: A Men's Guide to Leaving Unhealthy Relationships, available on Amazon.com and at: www.LeavingHer.com
Education/Credentials B.A. in the Liberal Arts
M.A. in the social sciences
Question I've been with my bf for 9 yrs now, it will be ten yrs in october. We have a 5 yr old son and I've been trying so badly to keep our family together. Over the years he has cheated on me once, choked me, hit me, & emotionally abuse me. His temper is rediculous and I just can't take it anymore. We don't go out on dates and lately all we do is argue especially about his mom. She doesn't care for me and is not afraid to let me know. I've finally found the guts to stand up to her and now acts as if I was wrong for speaking up for myself. Lately I've been evaluating our relationship and the future seems pretty cloudy. When I ask him about marriage he finds a way to avoid the topic or says he doesn't have the money to afford ring or give me the kind of wedding that I want. But I know that's just an excuse now cause a few days ago we had a really bad arguement and I decided to lay all my feelings on the table, he responded and said that I'm not marriage material. I am so hurt and disgusted with him. I've given this relationship everything and more and he actually had the nerve to say something so hurtful after 9 yrs. I want him to leave but he won't and its crazy cause I don't know how to let him go. I know I need to but I'm so scarred I just can't see me without him. Pls tell me what I should do. I know this isn't healthy
Answer Tennisha,
That's a sad situation -- you need to go, but you don't feel that you can. He is emotionally and physically abusive, and you can't tolerate that any longer. You don't have to stand for his mother's mean words, you CAN leave that situation behind.
I realize 9 years are a long time, and you've been conditioned to depend on him and try to make him happy. But you just have to grab your things and go. You don't have to give him fair warning -- you can just leave.
If you don't have someone to help you, there are woman's shelters for when you have the courage to leave. Even if he wanted to marry you, you don't want to be with someone with such a bad temper. Unfortunately, your child will lose his father, and will suffer from it. But it's worse for him to see his mother so desperate at the hands of his father.
As I said, there are resources for women who are stuck in abusive relationships. There are also counseling services (free if you don't have the money to pay), depending on the city in which you live. Please look up a woman's shelter near you, where they'll be able to provide what you need. If you have a family member who will support you in leaving, that's good as well.
Best of luck to you, Tennisha -- please don't hesitate to take action!
