About Tim Jones Expertise I can answer any relationship and/or dating questions.
Experience I specialize in the process and mechanisms of love, dating, and relationships. I have over 14 years of professional work in addition to over 17 years of individual dating experience studying the mannerisms and behaviors of people in dating and relationship settings.
Education/Credentials Professional Relationship Counselor
- Professional Sexual Relationship Counselor
Question My first boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. We dated for six months, and he broke up with me. Although I know it's for the best, I'm having a really hard time. At first I just missed him tons. I went through an angry phase of about two days, and then proceeded to start to get over it. Now, however, I feel like I'm backsliding. I'm sad and grumpy all the time, EVERYTHING reminds me of him, and I keep thinking of situations that involve us getting back together. Even though I know we weren't meant to be together forever (we had our share of issues) I just feel like I wasn't done with the relationship. But, I'm not going to even see him all summer (probably a good thing). Help?! How do I get over this?
Answer It is good that you have accepted that he is not right for you.... that is very good news. It is very common during the initial separation to build attraction for someone, but please do not take this as indication of anything. The reason is because you continue to think about him doing things like "wondering what he is doing). As long as you continue to think about him, however, you will never be over him.
With that said, the important thing to do is several things:
(Ideally this should have been done before you two broke up)
A) Put down all of the reasons on paper why he was not right for you.
B) Remind yourself of all of his flaws when you find yourself thinking about him..
C) Start looking for someone who is right for you.
In short, the only way you will ultimately be able to move on is to stop thinking about him (aka Seducing yourself). The faster you can start thinking about another guy (or something else), the faster you will be able to work thru the issue...
