Expert: Julie - 6/12/2009

Question
My first boyfriend just broke up with me (I’m 19). It was a six month long relationship. He broke up with me, but it was a long time coming and, after the fact, I know it’s a good thing (I had been contemplating it for the past month, but had decided to keep trying. The week prior to the breakup was the best I had felt about our relationship for months) But, I miss him desperately. I mean, how is it fair that you can be best friends with someone for six months, and then, right when you need them the most because you’re so sad because you just went through a break up, you aren’t friends anymore? I just simply miss him. I’m going to see him on Sunday (one week since the breakup) because I’m going to be minutes away from him house anyway for a voice lesson (he lives an hour car ride and a 20 minute ferry ride away from me for the summer). I’m really excited to see him because I miss him so, so much. However, I also miss kissing a lot, so I am a little worried about simply throwing myself at him when I see him, but I think I’ll be fine. But, I‘m just so sad all the time. I think about him all the time (his name is Adam, so I hear it a lot). Even though I know this if for the best because we were so not emotionally compatible… we had such great physical chemistry, and he was such a main part of my life for the past six months. Help? How do I deal with first my break up?

Answer
First break ups along with any break up is very hard. Its normal to be missing him and really sad and it may even be some time before you start to get over him. But it does get better. When you see him do your best not to get overly emotional or affection with him as this may not be something he wants.

Some people find that its harder to be friends after a break up. So maybe thats why he sorta distanced himself.

it'll  be hard to get over for the first little bit but trust me it does get easier. Most break ups are hard..what your going through is totally normal.

Good luck

Julie