Expert: Julie - 6/10/2009

Question
hi there, i guess you have heard this before.. i was interested in this girl for a year, i had known her before but i never expressed myself.. so we were close but she kept saying she wasnt ready... but we were still flirting and kissing and stuff.. then another guy got involved.. with a bike and a car... and he was taking advantage of the situation.. spending longer time with her.. well abt six months since i have last seen her.. then she decided to back off.. i dont know if she is with the other guy now but it is killing me emotionally. i know that i did the best i could in treating her like a real woman...last spoke to her a week ago.. i have tried instant messages, calls and even one email.... i have felt like just going to her place and confronting her which i know is so wrong... we never fought, just small arguements...but honestly, she is like fire and i am water.she always said i think like a woman... i know i have to move on but i am having severe difficulty in doing so.. i am in boxing and i am losing focus.. i have given up weight training and running because she used to be my motivation and source of support.. i am beginning to binge eat and i know its a mini depression.. please help me

Answer
Well if she was truly interested in you she would've chosen to be with you. Unfortunatly she didn't. I understand totally the depression regarding this and the loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, its normal to feel that way. Thats why even if you don't feel like it, you need to force yourself to get back into it.
After my ex and I broke up alls I wanted was to lay around and sulk but I forced myself to go do the things I used to do before him, and at first I had no interest and it was hard but the more I did it, the better it got.
What I found out is you totally just can't rely on someone else to make you happy and never let them take away your goals. You lost her yes, but dont allow that to cause you to lose your motivation for the things you used to love. Don't allow someone else to be your motivation. Cause when that gets taken away you have nothing.

Good luck

Julie