Expert: Michael Freeman - 6/20/2009

Question
hi i'm 16 i've been dating this guy for about two months, when we started dating it was really akward but we got closer. lately hes been choosing his friends over me and avoiding me. like two days ago he asked most of his friends to come to his house and when none of them could he asked me last. i'm really afraid that he is going to do something mean to me when i break-up with him like make his friends go agaisnt me.. what is the best way to break up but still be friends? thank you:)

Answer
If you feel that he's the type who would set his friends against you, you definitely shouldn't be with him.  However, it sounds like you have to break up cautiously so he doesn't overreact.  

Unfortunately, you can't control his reaction -- you just have to be honest.  Try to phrase the break-up in terms of you and not him. In other words, don't blame him -- just say that the relationship isn't right for you at this time in your life.  

You might also mention that you really appreciate his maturity, and how he's a person who would never treat a girl badly, whatever the circumstances.  When you let people know how mature and respectful they are, they tend to believe you and act that way!

Good luck, Jessica!

-Michael