Expert: Julie - 6/5/2009

Question
last month my girlfriend and i broke up. it was fairly mutual and civil as we
decided we were growing apart. while we were both upset about breaking up
we understood we needed some time away from each other.

also, i am currently out of state on an internship so we thought this would
just be a "band aid" on our relationship if we stayed together. we talked once
and we are going to get lunch when i get back into our hometown. when we
broke up we never said "ok, this is a break," but we both know we want to be
with each other, but have being going through a tough time. so i guess my
question is: if we do get back together does a "break" or "time apart" really
affect a relationship for the best? i want to get back with her since it doesn't
really feel like we are over. i miss her and the fact that we broke up when we
could have probably tried harder hurts me. i am optimstic things will be
different because i have being thinking about our relationship a lot and how
it can change for the better.

by the way, if it matters, we were together for 15 months and we are entering
our senior years in college

ps. thanks in advance!

Answer
Usually taking a break from a relationship can be a good thing. It makes you take a step back and realize how much you love someone and really do want to be with them. Also it also helps to think about ways to improve it so it works out better when you do reconcile..

So this isn't necessarily a bad thing..sometimes a break does bring two people closer together. I am sure she is also missing you and thinking about the same things. Once you two get together again, you should discuss how you both feel and what you both want out of this.

Good luck

Julie