About Tim Jones Expertise I can answer any relationship and/or dating questions.
Experience I specialize in the process and mechanisms of love, dating, and relationships. I have over 14 years of professional work in addition to over 17 years of individual dating experience studying the mannerisms and behaviors of people in dating and relationship settings.
Education/Credentials Professional Relationship Counselor
- Professional Sexual Relationship Counselor
Question Hi guys , I'm Tim , i have recently split up with my partner of 3 years, this is my fist real relationship in my life, i was 18 when i meet her and and she was 35 things have been great till last week when she came to me said " you can do better then me" then continues to go on about the age gap, which has not bothered her since we meet, I'm really gutted as we were doing soooo well , Do you reckon she is using those excuses as a scap goat? im confused
Please help
Answer Sorry for the long reply.... Gosh darn traveling is such a pain...
I am very sorry to hear about the breakup... I know it does not make it any easier, but I understand the pain quite well, as I bet she does. Breakups are never easy for either person, especially in this case.
I was actually quite touched by your post. No, I do not think that she is using the excuse as a scaps goat. I think she cared enough to know that the two of you are at different points in your life. Meaning, a 21 year old wants things allot different than a 38 year old, and I think she was very sweet to try to approach it the way she did.
My advice is this. I know the pain is bad now. I know that you feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on. In time, though, I promise it will get easier. Also, please know you are in good company as all of us have been where you are right now, and I promise that it was no easier either. In fact, the first time I got my heart broken (9 year relationship high school sweetheart), I couldnt leave the house for 3 days, and would just lay in bed wishing I could somehow make it all just go away.
With that said, what I also know is that when you are ready again, there is a little girl out there that will mend that little broken heart of yours and make it soar like you have never known... (Trust me!! It will happen)
As far as her... I truly think she most likely cares allot about you and just wants the best for you. For now, it would be best to just not talk to her for a little while, accept the fact that it is not only over, and will never be. Once (and if) you get beyond that point, then I hope you seek her out again. With the right amount of emotional maturity, she could be a life long friend to you one day, and I promise those are so much more special than a relationship. In fact, Remember than 9 year sweetheart that crushed my heart?? Well, she married another guy who was so much better for her than me, but we are closer now than we ever have been. Meaning, in time I think you will find that love does not mean that you get the girl. It means that you love her enough to always want what is best for her no matter what the outcome..
Good Luck my friend, and my wishes are with you during what I know is a very hard time. In time, though, I promise it gets easier!! Just keep your head up, and realize the obvious. There is only one of you out there!!
