Expert: ***ERICA*** - 7/27/2009

Question
I was wondering what advise you would have for me on my
situation. I want to get back with my ex girlfriend and she
tells me her biggest fear is little things I did in the past
to her will happen again. She tells her sister that she
wants to get back together with me but doesn't know when.Her sister has told me that she wants to get back with me but shes scared and stubborn.
She claims shes just scared of the past repeating itself. I
have been patient and been waiting for a while now and my
patience is starting to run out. I told her I just can't do this
anymore and that its best to move on and when and if she
comes around and wants this she knows my number. Everyone
keeps telling me that she will come around she just needs to
see what its like without you in her life and not having
that comfort that your there anymore. It seems in time that she will get over all this I am trying to go out
and move forward with my life its just hard because she is
always on my mind wondering if she will come back to me or if she has moved on.I guess thats the feeling when you love someone. Its just annoying not knowing when she will call or if she will call. Its hard to move on because of the uncertainty that if I do move on and then she comes back to me. Is there anything I should in order to try and help the situation. So any advice on this situation or suggestions would be great. I plan on
not contacting her only if she contacts me first.

Answer
Dear Andrew,
Congratulations on making a decision for YOURSELF!! What I mean by that is you have set some ground rules for YOU and hopefully will stick by them.  I am not going to say that she is just making an excuse or excuses here because I don't know what the mistakes were and how they truly affected her life.  What you need to do now is focus completely on yourself, you life, your goals and aspirations.  I would also stop asking or talking to her sisters and your/her friends about this situation because until you get the call from her telling you that she wants you back ~ it really doesn't matter what anyone is saying.  Sometimes people say things because they care about you and don't want to hurt your feelings or they may believe it to be true.  Regardless, it doesn't matter until she says and shows that she wants you back.  However, you cannot put your life on hold because what if she never says it and/or never wants it.  Then, what do you do?  You were clear to her and told her that she knows your number.  Trust me if she wants you back ~ she will dial that number ~ if not then you have no choice, but to cherish your memories and move on.  Good Luck...

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