Expert: ***ERICA*** - 7/29/2009

Question
I've been with my bf for 6 months. I know it may sound like a short amount of time, but I began to fall for him. However, towards the end, we were having a rough time and he ended up leaving me for his ex-gf. Supposedly she was asking him back and he left. I was heartbroken, deeply hurt, like someone ripped out my heart. About a month later he left me, he calls me saying he made a mistake. He said the whole time he was with her he only thought of me and realized he wanted to be with me only. However, I found out (don't ask my how I found out) that he told her that I was crazy for telling him that I loved him so early on, that he couldnt stop thinking about her when he was with me, how he compared her to the girls he dated, how he missed her etc.

We tried to work it out again, but I kept bringing it up because I couldnt trust him. As much as I wanted to be with him, I just couldnt bear the pain he put me through. I told him two weeks ago that I dont want this anymore and that I dont deserve this, that he should be with "his" girl. He replied saying.."you know what? you're right. I dont want to be with someone who doesnt trust me this much. this is ridiculous."

I said okay and he said okay and that was it. Its over. I should be happy but it hurts so much. Now I heard he contacted his ex-gf the day after we ended telling her that he loves her, that he wants to forget the past, he doesnt want to make her sad, and he wants to move in with her a year later.  They are all lovey dovey right now.

When I heard this, I was shaking and crying at the same time. He moved on with his girl now right after we ended, while I'm here used, played, feeling horrible and hurt.
How can he move on and forget me so quickly????

Answer
Grace,
As painful as this may be to hear... he was able to do this because he wasn't that into you. period.  It really is that simple.  IF he really cared about you he would have never left you in the first place.  Then, when you took him back it didn't feel that good anyway.  I know the rejection and reality hurt that he is with his ex and they are lovey dovey or whatever.  Actually, you shouldn't even care what they are doing and how they are acting because believe you me... this is the best thing that could happen for you.  Why would you want to be with someone who is so wishy washy about who he wants to be with???? It doesn't work like that.  Please try to understand that he isn't that into her and he isn't that into you.... so... try to move on... Allow yourself 10 min. a day to cry, but then get busy making your own FABULOUS life... Good Luck "E"