Expert: Julie - 7/22/2009

Question
me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years and its  been great we have learned about eachother everyday. he was a junior and i a sophomore. everyone that saw us, saw how happy we were. yes we had our rough times but who doesn't. i was his second gf he has ever had and before we had reached a year he broke up with me cause he was scared to fall in love again after what his first gf did. but in the end he came back after a couple of day. as months went by we had out arguments but we came to realized we were so much alike and our personalities clashed. from the moment we met eachother we clicked, it hard to believe but we did. hours after i gave him my number he called me everyday and called everyday since then..we even slept on the phone together. to everyday. everything was great. until he graduated and me a senior. He took on two jobs to help his parents out financially. he wakes up a 7am goes to work at 8am and get off at 4pm, goes home to change his shirt and go back to work at 5pm till 2am in the morning. a total of 18 hour days and he's never off a whole day and when he had off from one job he would come see me. but we started arguing about silly things because we missed eachother. and on our 2 year anniversary he had off from his night job and took me out to the mall to go get a build-a-bear. but i decided not to get one. and we started arguing about something i don't remember what but we got so mad we parted at the mall and met in his car. and that's when he said we need  to break up. i don't want to be with anyone i don't want to be in a relationship. the next day we met to say goodbye..and we talked and told me i don't know what i want im 18..and i ask if he' willing to lose me he said yes. i ask him if he love me he say yes i love U with all my heart. but say we cant be together. that i need to move on. and starts to push me away. his parents knew he loved me and didn't know why he was doing this they ask him but he just says he don't want to talk about it. now he's being mean to make me hate him so i can move on but i know him and he;s doing it cause he knows im hurting. and the other day he called to ask how i was doing, and said fine working that my life. and then i asked him if he thinks in a couple of months or years he'll give us another try he says i don't know, only time will tell. he said i don't know what going to happen, he said maybe I'll call U in 2 weeks a month, a year, idk. one day i might call and say "hey can we talk i miss U" i just don't know if i should wait. everyone else me i should his mom my mom, dad, friends, his best friend but i don't want to put my hope up and get my heart broken again.

Answer
I would not wait. Trust me on this. I made that mistake once. My ex told me maybe in six months, or a year we'll get back together. So this prolonged my hope and grief. A year went by and I was still grieving. Then finally after two (yes I was grieving cause I basically was waiting) he found someone else. That was that. I was devastated. Do you want that to happen to you?

He doesn't deserve that..what an ego boost to have someone wait for you while he goes off to do whatever he wants knowing he has you to fall back on in case things don't work out. Don't wait, move on..if he misses you truly and loves you, he will be scared to lose you and want to come back. If you wait and he knows it, he won't. Trust me.

good luck

Julie