Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/18/2009

Question
Hi
i'm facing a problem . i was in a relationship with a guy who is a dj, regardless of that fact we fell in love or rather i did . and we used to meet up every weekend at parties or clubbing and the only time we spend is in the cab coming back home and sometimes together in the club. his the type who never calls much or text me very formal but before we started a relationship he was the one coming online to see me and all sorts. i call him now and hang on the phone for hours and i recently started calling him home because i thought we were getting distanced because we dont spend time much. he used to tell me he loves me and misses me but his stopped it. few weeks back he was caught by one of my friends dirty dancing with a girl and he agreed and apologized but i could never let go him i took him back but our relationship is dull if you get what i mean . i feel he doesn't care for me and his friend keeps telling him stuff like he can find some one better than me but his still with me but he never calls and i have to do it first and he cuts the line on me when we have a small argument . today i told him i accepted the fact he doesn't do certain things in a relationship and its okay but i want him to care and if he doesn't want me to just leave me and he blamed me and i dont know if it is over but iam in love with him and i keep thinking and crying so much . that i've booked to leave the country in a few months cause if i be here  i tend to go out with friends clubbing and i will see him and it will completely break my heart! he is not the guy i can ask whether he has some one else or his not the guy i can pour my feelings out on the phone .. please help me i am a mental reck and i need real help soon ! cause like i said he is a DJ and he has girls after him but i'm so in love with him that all i can think of is him and no one else what do i do ?

Answer
Dear Mari,
This is the typical "player" situation.  I hate to tell you this, but he just isn't into you.  I know its painful because you had hope that the 2 of you would be together, but when a man is into you he calls you and wants to spend time with you.  We don't ever have to chase that man.  The truth is you are holding on and trying to fix something that just isn't there.  You were someone that he enjoyed spending time with for a period of time, but he just isn't interested and the sooner you realize and accept that instead of trying to continue something that isn't there the easier it will be for you.  The best thing that will come out of this is you will learn a great lesson.... don't ever overcompensate for someone who isn't willing to move mountains for you and show you how much they care and when they start acting like he is acting ~ focus in on your life and realize that you are worth so much more... good luck