Expert: ***ERICA*** - 8/27/2009

Question
My first boyfriend (Adam – 20, me -19) broke up with me nearly three months ago (we dated for six months – he broke up during summer break). I didn’t take it well and was pretty much crushed for three weeks. After three weeks I started a job as a camp counselor which really distracted me (I even had a camp fling!). Now, however, I’m back home and moving onto campus in a week. Adam is living in a apartment style building as far from my building as you can possibly get while still being on campus, and won’t be eating in the dining hall too much. He’s a theater major to my music major, so we might be mixing in extracurricular activities (hopefully, if I get into any theater productions this year…). I’m over him. I think. I still think about him a lot and miss him a lot but I do know that I would not go back to him if he asked (though I guess you never know till you’re in the situation…). So, then… why am I still so emo about it? I’m nervous about moving in and seeing him. I just want to see him already (we saw each other for a lunch a week after we broke up and we haven’t talked since). I’m awkward and just want to call him once we get to campus and be like “can I see you so I can stop freaking out” but I know that would be awkward to him…. But that’s how I feel! I just want to see him so I can get it over with, and take the next step to moving on. Any advice for a first timer?

Answer
Dear Alana,
Hi. I definitely wouldn't contact him ~ I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.  It is scary and weird, but you will get over it the first time you bump into him.  It's nerves in general.  You are starting at a new school, new people, new things, etc.. so, everything is bound to make you nervous.  However, what a great opportunity to start fresh.  Throw yourself into school and extracurricular activities, build a great social network, and feel FABULOUS about yourself.  Then, when you do run into him just a casual nod is fine.... It's normal to be emotional because there are a lot of new things to make you emotional.  Breakups are hard and it's normal to think about him and feel what you are feeling, but these feelings will pass.  Just focus in on you and this great opportunity you have.... Good Luck...